nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
