there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
