im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
