I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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