i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize