Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
