that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
