That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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