So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
