You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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