it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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