I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
