jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
