I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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