Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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