he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
