I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
