You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
