I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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