that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
