How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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