dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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