Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
