i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
