I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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