the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
