woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
