Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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