You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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