Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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