I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
