can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
handjob tips. give me some.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
