she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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