i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
