Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
