I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
