Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
