maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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