He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
