Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
