Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
