Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
