What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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