Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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