i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
