this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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