I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
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I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
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I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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