Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
