Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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