I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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