I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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