Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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