Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
