Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
third nipple confirmed
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
