I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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