2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
