I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
